My greatest blessing

I said when I started this blog I would share the blessings I have experienced since my mother's stroke on Oct. 16, 2014.  That's when, between her stroke and my dad's advanced cancer, life became difficult in a way I've never before experienced.

But I've been amazed at the "little" things that really aren't that small once one has reevaluated her life and priorities, and suddenly, life's focus zooms in on right behavior, right motives, loving people genuinely and allowing others to genuinely love her.

One of the blessings, which really have been a series of many, is people -- people reaching out to show love and caring. People who love my parents and, who, in turn, have shown they care for me, too.

Let me provide some background to shed some light on this phenomenon of simple kindness and love between humans in this crazy, messed up, and sometimes extremely ugly world.

I had a series of experiences -- mostly, but not completely, troubles of my own making -- that bottomed me out roughly two years ago.

After that, and as the beginning of my healing process, I fell off the face of the earth for awhile. I needed time to myself and my family. I needed to focus on my own health and well-being. I needed to simplify my life and re-evaluate all of my activities and habits.

In short, everything changed. And, truly, it's all been for a life I've come to like and appreciate. As a side effect, though, I became somewhat of a recluse. I suppose you could say I feared other people once my new life began. I have needed to keep my world small and simple; it had been painfully overwhelming and unpleasant.

I did manage, however, to build a support system of "my people," whom I dearly love and rely upon.

And, ever so slowly, I have healed and continue to heal from a hell I had created for myself.

That's where the blessings of people, their kindness, caring and love come in. That's where you come in. Those of you who have reached out to my parents, my sister and me, as well as the rest of my family, have restored my faith in people and all that can be, and is, good in this world.

I've stopped being so fearful, especially fearful of what other people might think or why they might think it. I'm not quite so shy about seeing people from my past because my world is not "all about me" anymore. Nor am I holding my past failures over my head. It simply is what it is.  And I believe in my ability to move forward with confidence, mostly because of a renewed relationship with my God.

This experience with my parents has solidified for me what I've been trying in vain to learn all my life: The people who love me will love me, no matter what. The people who aren't going to love me, won't, no matter what. Be who I am to the best of my ability and let the chips fall where they may. LOVE people anyway!

And I have and you have. YOU have stepped forward. YOU have modeled what I've needed to see and experience. And because you have modeled this and I have been the benefactor of such grace, I feel bolder about loving others, in spite of my fears, previous shame or what others might think of me.

The fact is, most everyone has a similar story to mine. We all have something going on that's difficult, whether because of outside issues or internal struggles.

We all need to receive that random smile ... so smile. We all need to hear kind words ... so speak them. We all need to experience acts of kindness ... so do them. We all need prayers ... so pray.

We all need love, grace, mercy and forgiveness ... so give it to the best of your human ability.

Thank you and thanks to God for showing me that what's important to me can be for me, too. I can give it, but I can also receive it.

Perhaps that's what makes a person whole, and in turn, creates a better world for all.

At least it does for me. :-)