The birth of a redneck designer: Red brick floors can make a girl crazy (er)

I've been busy. I mean, really busy. I've been busy making myself crazier and crazier.

I've been painting cabinets and kitchens and furniture. I've been redecorating. In truth and fact, I'm not even a Martha Stewart type, and I've never aspired to be.

None of this was ever supposed to happen!

All I wanted was a new brick kitchen floor. That's it! I've wanted that for 14 years! But the floor turned into counter tops, which turned into backsplash that didn't work with the current cabinets like I imagined — so I antiqued those — and that turned into kitchen walls that didn't work ... so I repainted those, even though we had just repainted them two years earlier!

Everything has ridiculously snow-balled on me.

This pic isn't even close to the beginning, but what the heck? I'll start here. A few photos down, you will see the headboard Dorsey built (because he loves me) and that I painted. (Did I mention I found this headboard design at 3 a.m. one night when I couldn't sleep because I was stressed out by all of this unfinished business?) The headboard is not attached yet because Dorsey is a busy guy (and the fact that it's not attached is gnawing at me)! This is the guest room decoration I've settled on ... for now. :-) It's not quite country and it's not quite Victorian. It's just new old. And I still need to paint the window's original shutters white and which are currently green, which will end the current reign of the lacy curtains.

The top of the bookshelf, and the bookshelf. I've had this thing for 20 years, just plain pine. It's been in every room in the house, plus an apartment, a house and two apartments before that. Now it's part of my extended closet (behind my real closet and Dorsey's real closet in a space that's been everything from an office to a closet to a place for my mom when she was sick to a mom cave and back to a closet/office/mom cave of sorts.)

I bought the little server on the left for cheap ... because it would fit my current need for my current extended closet space. (It's filled with shoes, and other miscellaneous matter.) I don't like shabby chic, so I redid the piece in this green ... which will match the eventually newly painted sage green accent walls in my extended closet and bathroom. 

When I bricked the bathroom (because we had extra from the kitchen) floor, the coastal decor I settled on last year no longer seemed right, so I decided to make it look like the rest of the house is shaping up to be ... early American. Except ... all my other early American stuff does not allow for bright white, and I did NOT want to repaint the bathroom walls. We had just done it! So, I ordered a new shower curtain and some artwork, but it was all wrong. So I ordered a new shower curtain to match the darker hues of the new artwork. And then I realized if I put it up with the art work I had bought, I would have to repaint the walls because the stark white would clash. So ... to avoid that, I sent the second new shower curtain back and made my own checkerboards to keep the first new shower curtain. Now, I can maintain the bright white.  Except ... 

To keep the whole early American theme going, I have to change out the bathroom hardware ... which I have bought and am waiting installation by my very busy husband, which, like the headboard, gnaws at me. Next on the bathroom list is a new mirror and sconces. More country. For now, I've just darkened them. And my stomach is churning.

Dorsey built this headboard for the guest bedroom.

It took 7 steps to distress it with the blue underneath. My body is paying today for all the squatting and Twister-like positions such work required. 

I bought the cheap dresser pictured on the left for cheap. Again, I don't like shabby chic, personally, so, I painted, distressed and changed out the hardware of this chest of drawers for my extended closet space. The drawers are full of closet-like junk. Same with that book shelf, pictured above.

And in my extended closet is a special little space below the window, but it's also an awkward kind of area. In a continuing effort to maximize the space we have in the house (without knocking down any walls), plus find a place for all of the necessary junk I need on hand (bills to pay, business stuff to deal with before it all goes upstairs to the main office), I decided a desk would be best ... plus it allows the beer and Diet Coke fridge a space. I got the black desk for cheap and distressed it.  So why is everything black? Because, when Dorsey and I redid our bedroom and bathroom a few years ago, we painted the shutters and moulding and cabinets black. I'm not repainting all that! Not! Instead ... I'm going to later tackle distressing all that black ... to look like the three pieces of furniture I just added to the extended closet, and to go with the whole "my house is really old" theme. Do you see how this has all made me crazy!?

In the middle of everything, I decided — because it was so much fun the first time — I wanted to make more checkerboards ... and sell them. (Have you seen all the different "buy, sell, trade" groups on Facebook?)

All the of the above have been practice pieces (all the way to the very top of this blog) ... some of which I'm trying to sell ... on those FB groups, of course. And what am I practicing for? Why, the giant TV cabinet I have ordered from the Amish, of course. To go with the rest of the look of the house I'm trying to create. Of course. You see, I hate the look of the TV and all of the TV paraphernalia and junk. I want it covered up. I want it behind closed doors. So I sent the guy a picture of a cabinet we already have from the 1800s. It's been 12 weeks and gets here Friday. I'm painting it as best I can possibly do to make it look like a real antique. I doubt that will happen, but after all this, who can fault my effort? (Because in addition to all the pieces of furniture I've painted (and cabinets), I've painted/distressed and waxed little wooden blocks.)

Here's another crazy-making piece. Once upon a time, I painted this little TV stand red. For Jordie and me, when we lived in this little apartment I thought was so cute. (It was.) Jordie and Hart had that TV stand forever. In red. But when Mom and Dad died, and I wanted to redo that really dark and dingy room the boys each once had, I just had to create a room I thought Mom would like. I used one of her quilts. And I painted that TV stand to match it and the rest of the room. But then ... Jordie was going to visit way more often than I originally understood when I transformed the room from his high school stomping grounds to a guest room. The room, as I made it, was really feminine. I felt bad that Jordie would be in such a feminine room. So I got a different quilt (the room is staying bright, dangit!). And the newly painted TV stand no longer worked. So ... I redid it. Again. And you know what? I was never happy with any of the rugs I got for that room after I redid it. So I kept getting rid of them. (Those FB sales groups.) I landed on the one pictured at the top, and I LOVE that one. But ... the bed didn't have a headboard. You already saw that story. And while the room still might be slightly feminine, I think once I get those dang shutters painted and back in place, all will be right with my world. For now.

Last, and certainly not least ... here is the cheap little desk I bought for cheap to first start practicing for the great big important cabinet that's finally getting here on Friday. I painted this once gray desk with ugly hardware to go with my early American look and stick in the laundry room to replace the ugly, white utility table. After all the HGTV I had watched, I suddenly became unhappy (er) with my silly little laundry room with the nasty carpet and litter boxes. So ... while we were having the new brick floor installed there, too, I worked on that desk to replace the utility table.  It now holds light bulbs and paint brushes and sand paper. EVERYTHING IN THIS HOUSE NOW HAS A PLACE! 

But I'm not finished! The oh-so-important TV cabinet gets here Friday, and I leave Sunday for a two-week trip. When I get back, I will paint that ... and I will repaint the master bathroom, bedroom, and extended closet.

Because I'm crazy.

And just in case you think otherwise, none of this escapes me as being entirely first world privileged problems. 

No, I'm not really ashamed. I'm blessed. And it's an awesome escape from the insanity of our country's politics.