Next up: Trip of a lifetime

Early Sunday morning, I begin my big journey east ... because I "have to" pick up some antiques I bought in Massachusetts way back in December.

But Dorsey can't go with me because he started a new job not that long ago — although he could go if he wanted, but it just wouldn't be right, you know? 

From the start, I've had absolutely no qualms about traveling that far by myself ... in my truck and pulling my trailer. I think that maybe, besides getting to have amazing antiques in my house and always searching for even better ones, the best part of being an antiques dealer is traveling to all the places I only dreamed about as a child. Maine is one of them. 

Ever since I saw the movie "On Golden Pond," (1981 ... I was 13), I've wanted to go to Maine. In my mind at the time, I never imagined in a million years I would get to go to Maine. Maine was like a whole different country ... even though it's super close to a whole different country. (Yes, I know "On Golden Pond" was not actually set in Maine. But, to me at the time, Maine and New England were synonymous. I think "On Golden Pond" was actually set in New Hampshire?" Someone Google it for me. I'm too lazy.)

Seeing Maine was so important to me that my first fiance (back when I was only 22) planned our honeymoon to Maine. That's how he proposed to me, in fact ... with a Maine travel guide. 

That marriage and that trip never happened.

But 25 years later, Maine is.

First, however, I get to hang out with my 21-year-old baseball playing, baseball loving son. 

So Sunday morning, Jordie and I set out toward Chicago, where we will watch the Cubs play the Brewers at Wrigley field. And while we're there, we will "do" Chicago as much as a day-and-a-half will allow.

Then we will head toward Baltimore by way of Pittsburg first, so that we can see the Orioles play the Astros a few days later. 

(Did I mention that one of the best days of my life — EVER — Hands down — Was when Jordie and I saw the Mets play in NYC while Dorsey worked in nearby Connecticut? Yes. As the song played on the train there that day, "This is gonna be the best day of my lii-ii-ife," it truly was an amazing day.)

After that, Jordie and I head to Boston and spend what little time we have left (a little more than a day)  to experience whatever we can. (Yes, we will be pulling a trailer, and that scares the ever-livin' daylights out of me. But I have confidence ...) 

And, yes, sadly, we're kind of blowing through NYC since we've already gotten to do that, but not Boston. It's just a reality of time and money.

On the 21st, Jordie has to fly back home so he can get back to school. 

BUT ... graciously, my sister flies into Boston about the same time Jordie flies out so that I don't have to finish the last leg of the trip alone. (What? Do people think I can't handle it? Pee Shawwww! I've been pushed out of my comfort zone so many times in the past couple of years, I'm pretty sure I can do anything as long as God (and AudioBooks) is (are) driving ... )

So when Kim gets to Boston, we chill in Boston then head for West Townsend, Massachusetts, so that I can retrieve my goods. We will take it all in there ... and then the fun really begins!

Maine, Maine, Maine. Antiques. Antiques. Antiques. I have it all mapped out.

And when I'm finished doing my thing in Maine, we do Kim's thing at Martha's Vineyard ... not that I'm opposed or anything ... before we head back to the great state of Texas. 

It will take us roughly two-and-a-half days from Massachusetts to Flower Mound, where Kim gets home and I take a nap for the night before heading back to Amarillo.

Two weeks. Two whole weeks to explore much of the eastern part of the United States I've never had the opportunity to see. 

Yes, it's a big deal for a poor kid from Amarillo. I do mean poor. Ask my parents. They'll vouch for me. 

I do believe God gives us the (pure) desires of our hearts ... no matter how many years down the road it takes.

So far, God is batting 1000 in my heart's desires. Maine (and all the rest of the New England states and southeastern states that I someday get to explore further) is one of many. 

(So let me just add another thoughtful addition to this already lengthy explanation of my life's planned-yet-unplanned journeys: Just in case without my knowledge it's my time to go and I don't get to see the rest ... that's OK, I still get to see all the rest!)

In the meantime,  I plan to come back with plenty of photos and stories about this trip. 

Thank you thank you thank you, God. You have every idea how much this means to me. :-)

Can't believe it's happening ... have you ever really stopped and thought about the course of your life ... CRAZY and unexpected, for sure.

... but I'm going to miss Dorsey and my zoo so much! 

My new normal

I wasn't having fun at that moment. In fact, I texted Dorsey: "I'm DONE!"

So much has happened in the almost-month since I last posted. The most significant thing, I suppose, was surviving my second antique show ... this one in Richmond, IN.  This is how it happened, and this is what I learned:

First leg of the trip. Lovely, right?

Loading up. Tornado hit 6 miles from us.

New brick floor while I was gone. Could not be happier.

Greatest find so far. c.1810 New England corner cupboard, original paint

• Just me and Mary: We did it!
• Just me pulling our 11X14 trailer for 15 hours each way: I can do it. Keep packing that cooler with healthy food. 
• Listening to two David Baldacci books along the way: Love Baldacci and appreciate books on CD soooooooo much! (Do audio books count as reading?)
• Experiencing part of the country I've never seen before: This may be the best part of this business venture. Travel travel travel!
• Denting a wheel cover on the trailer the very first day of the trip: Make wide turns, especially at the gas station. 
• Unloading 90 percent of the trailer for the show all by myself: I can do it.
• Loading and unloading in the rain and tornado warnings: That sucked. But even then it was funny. Don't wear flip flops.
• Learning more about the antique business from my mother-in-law and others: Love learning. Must stay positive at all times. 
• Buying the most gorgeous corner cupboard I've ever seen: Probably won't be able to sell this antique. Dorsey and I love it!
• Unloading 90 percent of the trailer back into the house and shop upon returning home: I rock.
• Redecorating my entire house once I returned: Whew! I kinda like doing that.
• 
  

  

  Redecorating can be great fun!

• Getting a brand new kitchen floor ... which I love and adore and love love love: Why didn't I do that sooner? :-) ALWAYS do renovations when you don't have to be there in the mess ... if you suffer from OCD!
• Shows will be much better and less stressful when Dorsey can go, too: I'm strong, but, damn, it's hard work and I'm not getting any younger! And Mary is 88 years old and should NOT be doing this stuff. (She can PACK a trailer!)

I think I'm finding my life's new "normal." :-)

One down, many more to go!

Our next show!!

So here's the thing: I like to post on my personal site because, well, I like the blog format and I can handle it. Updates to the other site are coming soon ... as well as updated merchandise.

Our trip to Round Top and participation in the Original Round Top Antiques Fair was invaluable. While we had sales success (and some extremely long days, as well), perhaps the best part at this time in our development was the contacts we made. Lots of great people with great connections to other shows and other people.

As a result, we already have lined up a few additional shows, starting with the one advertised in the photo above. 

• Heartland Antiques Show, Saturday June 4 in Richmond, IN.
• The Original Round Top Antiques Fair, Sept. 26-Oct. 1 in Round Top, TX
• Boerne Fall Antiques Show, Nov. 19&20, Boerne, TX
• Fiddlers Antique Show, Feb. 15-18, 2017, Nashville, TN

I can already tell this will be quite a journey. I am exhausted and still recovering from Round Top. Doing these things is a challenge with chronic pain and no time to rest. Somehow, I'll figure out a way to manage. At least I've waited until after the show to crash!! And, not every show is a full six days. Most are one to three days. Fiddlers is four. Regardless, I'm excited. 

I can't believe this is my life now.

.

.

.

P.S. My dad's truck is perfect for this. It pulls a trailer beautifully.

Baptism by fire

Stuff EVERYWHERE! The cats are totally bent out of shape.

Here we go, folks! Dorsey recently posted on the Wilmarth's Tin Cats web site that everything is about to get real ... his perspective.

Of course I get my two-cents worth.

I've been told by fellow dealers I'm getting to know that I'm nuts for debuting our business at a show like Round Top. It is, after all, HUUUUGE! And a big deal. And respected.

And lasts for six days instead of the usual two to three!

Here it all goes, then. Call me brave, call me stupid. It's happening.

I'm totally stoked about this late 1700s hutch table from New Hampshire. If it doesn't sell in Round Top, well, darn, I guess I just get to live with it for a while. :-)

I have spent the last several months plotting and planning my merchandise. I have had all of my "smalls," as we call them in the business, and quite a few furniture items, but my main pieces, the ones I've been extremely excited about, finally arrived after a touch-and-go, nerve-wracking few weeks of truck driver serious illness, bad Louisiana flooding and broken trailer parts. Still ... it's all good now. Besides, what would life be without drama ... always some drama.

I love the grain-painted mustard dry sink (top left). The top right shows a celery painted hanging cupboard.
The green-painted basket and tall wall cupboard came from my new friend in Sedona.

Arizona finds. They all came from New England, of course, but I found them in AZ.

And I found a few bonus items on an unexpected trip just the previous week when I traveled to Arizona to see Jordie pitch in a Tucson baseball tournament. Who would have thought? After all, my stuff is early American, mostly country antiques. Arizona wasn't even founded until 1912 ...

During the first week of March, I set out to get everything on my checklist for my booth and the trip ... much of what was learned after we visited the Round Top Winter Show in January, and from my mother-in-law's vast experience.  My new dealer friends have given their input, too.  Wall paper, tool kit, lights, packing stuff, hooks, nails, screws, signs, bags, various tapes, tax registration info, receipt book, pens, money, tape measure, step ladder, rug ... and all kinds of things I would never think of on my own.

This past week has found me battling a migraine (thank you, West Texas wind) while enduring my torn up house and packing for the show. (Not to mention Dorsey was gone a day or two for job interviews ... still working on that.)

Two kitties think they should go, too.
Socks is guarding all the tools and other important things.

Oh, and then there's the whole planning-what-am-I-going-to-wear-for-six-days-straight? To me, that's the worst part.  I hate packing. Really, really, really hate it. What if I forget something important, like the hanging clothes that aren't packed in my suitcase? Which black sandals do I take? The strappy ones or the wedges? Or both? Both pairs of boots or one? Will this top look OK with that skirt? What about these jeans? Boot-cut or narrow? How about a couple of each? Ugh!

Dorsey picks up the U-Haul trailer in the morning, and we load, with the help of a friend. That's when we run through the checklist one more time and then hit the road. I'm glad to have Dorsey with me this time. That trip to Arizona (and back pulling a trailer) by myself was quite a drive and an adventure!

We'll spend the night with Kim and Vince tomorrow night in Flower Mound and then head on to Round Top Saturday for set up. The show starts Monday. (I still think it's strange this is all happening Easter weekend ...)

And meanwhile, our friend Carmen will be holding down our fort and taking care of our crazy herd.

What a strange new world this is!

Change change change change change ...

Yep, here I am sitting in the middle of the utility room floor, painting.
I'm trying to accommodate for our cats. That old carpet had to go!
I need something I can easily clean!!

Mom and Dad's house is scheduled to close this week or next. We had offers on it within a day of it going on the market. I really didn't expect that, but I suppose that's good if it's time. Obviously, it is. The house is going to what appears to be a nice young family who will bring life to this house my parents loved. (Thank you, God. And you know the funny thing? The husband of the family owns a lawn business. My parents adored and doted on — built — that backyard. I just know this family will make it even better. And Mom and Dad would be so happy.)

Selling our parents' house is the last big thing for Kim and me to do with their "things." As we have checked off each of these tasks, I have surprisingly found myself in deeper depression than in relief. There's finality in all of this. There's the absolute, "They aren't coming back!" in all of this. (I certainly understand why some people put these estate things on the back burner for years. Kim and I are just extremely task-oriented, and well ... property taxes aren't fun to pay, especially when they're for no good cause.)

New cabinet for the newly-redecorated Jordie room — which was once Hart's room.

I continue think to myself, "It wasn't suppose to be like this."

Because it wasn't. Not in my child-like mind. Sure, most people assume they will outlive their parents (and that's how it should be, for the sake of our parents), but when it happens, it's a huuuuuuuge shock. I mean, Mom and Dad should always be there, right?

So, here I am, in the remaining days of wrapping up Mom and Dad's estate, and taking care of my own.

The former Jordie/Hart bedroom is in the process of becoming a guest room.
I have repainted furniture (from my grandparents' that my mom repainted for Hart's room).
When it's all said and done, I'll share some pics.

Although I always knew this, the notion that I don't have control over much in my life finally began to sink in about three years ago.  This became more and more clear as my parents became ill and then passed. Life last year became a matter of "do what you gotta do today," and that was absolutely it.

Here we go again.

You know if you've followed my life/blog recently that Dorsey was laid off from his job a little more than a month ago. This is scary stuff. Yeah, I know God has the solution all worked out and it's all good. That doesn't mean I always appreciate God's timing. I'm like, "C'mon, God. I know you've got this, but can we have this joblessness thing end sooner rather than later? Thanks!"

The truth is, we don't know where Dorsey will end up, job-wise. Yes, I'm finally willing to move from Amarillo. But I don't want to. It's not necessarily Amarillo itself. I mean, Amarillo is what it is. It's my home, good and bad. So you know what that means ... But it's home.

And I love my house ... my home for the last 14 years. I'm finally getting it into the shape I want it to be in ... the shape that matches the things we have, plus our style. I'm finally furnishing and making this house exactly how I've imagined for a very long time. (OK, yeah, I have even bigger picture ideas, but let's start small.)

And now, we might (likely) have to move, just to follow a job that will insure our livelihoods for at least a little while longer.

Such irony.

All this stuff I'm doing now — the ONLY things I have control over each day — is either for us or for whomever buys this house in the event we are forced to move from Amarillo.

Oh, the metaphors for life and homes and houses and all that ...

Everything but the grief

The garage sale at our house to let go of more of our parents' things went well. I'm still shocked by the amount left over.

So I will say it again: Every year, I'm going through our things and ridding us of whatever we don't use or enjoy anymore.  I told that to anyone and everyone at the garage sale who would listen.

I decided to keep a few more of my parents' things ... chairs that go so well in our living room (so we sold a love seat), some small fiesta dishes and a little dish "thingy" my mom bought years ago from the ABC Catalog. That bowl set is symbolic of the many, many, many Mexican Pile-on dinners we had at my parents' house. It just has to stay in the family and carry on with its beloved duties, I guess.

Today we boxed up and delivered the rest of the things to Downtown Women's Center.

It's over. That's over. (I hate garage sales, and people sometimes simply make me go ... "hmmm.")

Kim and I accepted an offer on my parents' house. It appears that if all goes as planned, that will be over in mid March. I cried when accepting the offer. I only want the house to go to people who will love it and take care of it. My parents poured themselves into it; it was the first and only home they ever owned. That backyard was their pride and joy.

Then it's over. Really over.

Everything but the grief.

Truly, I can't believe it's almost been a year since Mom and Dad died. It feels like yesterday. I cry sometimes like it was yesterday. I cry every time I take Indy for a walk, so lately, that's been about 5 days a week.

And if you're tired of hearing about it, sorry. I'm tired of living it.  What I am learning from others who have been through this is that the pain never goes away ... no matter how old you are or how old your parents were when they died. Instead, you somehow just move on to living life without them in it.  Woo - effing - hoo.

Whatever. I'm so not in the mood for grief.

*****

Dorsey is still job-searching. It's been a month since he got laid off, and he's worked hard every day in his quest for something new. He's treated the job search like a job. Thankfully, he has a few irons in the fire, which keeps us hopeful and emotionally able to keep going. Of course, we hope something works out soon; it's quite scary to be in this position. I try not to think about a time when no fish are biting, and he's just casting his resume into the big black hole, as he calls it.

Not knowing whether we're staying in Amarillo or moving somewhere else is unnerving to me. I don't know why. I just don't care much for uncertainty. There was a time not long ago when I was adamantly opposed to moving because we were just getting to the point where I could do things to the house I would love. Our home is perfectly designed to house early American antiques, some of which are quite primitive looking. (Plus, I've always thought about how much crap — after 14 years of living here — we would have to sort through, which seems daunting. But I have done a great job of unloading things lately.)

Now, while I still think about those things and have determined I might as well still go on with the low-cost home improvements (painting, etc.) ... one, to stay busy and the other, to help resale potential ... I have resigned myself to moving.

In fact, sometimes I enjoy thinking about making a new start in a new place with new people who know absolutely nothing about me. This is popularly known as the "geographical cure," which really doesn't exist, you know. Still, there could be some fun things about it. But if we're going to move, I hope it's closer to Kim and Vince; our family seems awfully small right now. And I hope that someday, Jordie will settle close to us, too. Doesn't much look like Hart will (he's in Maryland), but you never know.

*****

Speaking of Jordie, baseball is going GREAT for him. (School has never been an issue.) He is doing well in his pitching, and old injuries are staying out of the way. His team is doing well, and I have been able to see him play. When he's been on the pitcher's mound, I've pictured his granddad looking down from Heaven's portal, Grandma by his side, and they're cheering him on. I know my dad would be so pleased. Interesting fact: When I've actively watched Jordie in a pitch, imagining my dad watching, Jordie has thrown strikes.

*****

We finally launched our new business! Wilmarth's Tin Cats Antiques. http://www.tincats.com
Yes, please visit the site, shop, refer it to others and help us to carry on. This business has been the key to my moving on at all during the past several months. And, ironically, it has only been possible because of my parents. My mom would be so proud, I know this is true ...

.... time to go wipe my eyes and blow my nose ...

Grief sucks.

Life happens ... however it's going to happen

AS IF losing my parents, having a sucky Christmas without them and then losing Koda were not enough ...

Our losing streak continues.

Dorsey got laid off last week. Second time in 10 years he's received this gift from the newspaper industry. Need I say we're done with newspapers?

But what a run. Newspapers put a lot of food on our table and clothes on our backs. We've had lots of fun, too. I'm quite thankful for the work we have been blessed with. Just think: It could be way worse. And at least now I have a business of my own we can concentrate on building. (Can't wait to debut my web site!)

The first time Dorsey got laid off — from the Amarillo Globe-News after almost 19 years — I was angry and bitter. I believed that act was personal, and I almost let the bitterness ruin my life. I had no idea it would take me several years to overcome the change of having a traveling man for a husband. Shook my world and my world view.

I've lived, changed and matured a lot since then, thank God. In some ways, this thing is small potatoes compared to other things we've experienced in the last 10 years.

Eh ... this layoff I see as, "it is what it is." I got over the whole "you shouldn't lose your job if you've been a loyal, excellent employee and have worked your ass off for the company" after the first time. I experienced it with Dorsey, and I saw many others over the years go through it, too. Too many to count. It's the nature of the corporate world, and it has no ounce of loyalty in it. (Individuals might, but not the corporate institution itself.) In fact, you ain't lived until you've been laid off, right?!

So, whatever. (OK, not really. I know this can be financially and emotionally devastating for so many; I just refuse to go there this time.)

Still ... it bothers me when I know how talented Dorsey is, and I know and see how hard he works. There's still that thought of, "But, but ... he's so good!" I'm like, "What were they thinking?"

I just hurt for him.

BUT ... life happens. And I know that when we fall, we get up. And Dorsey is way talented and has a phenomenal resume ... maybe I should post it? Heck, if I could hire him, I would.

I know we'll be fine, though, because my faith in God tells me so, and my experience with God is that every single time something terrible has happened, blessings have come out of it anyway. This time will be no different.

I'm tired, though. Physically and emotionally. I still have anxiety and fears. I don't like change. I still cry a lot. I can't sleep much. My body still hurts. (Those injections in my spine a few weeks ago didn't help.) Yeah, it's true. I'm pretty darn down these days ... since the day Koda died, it's like everything with my parents is brand new, too.

What I see is the upheaval of a move. I can't see that Amarillo will work out for us. I dread packing up 15 years worth of stuff and our (nine) animals and finding someone to buy our house and finding a new house and getting used to a new city and being farther away from Jordie (but maybe closer to Kim). Remember, I'm tired.

But if we move, I realize completely that someday, I will look back and be thankful it ever happened in the first place. Because that's life. That's how it happens.

It happens the way it's supposed to. With pain comes joy. With joy comes pain. With pain comes joy ...

On and on.

But, damn ... I'm really, really tired.

Tin Cats — My New Life

Blanket chest, ca. 1810-1820, original paint. Love.

Wooden bowl full of stone fruit. 

My new life and business venture — Tin Cats Antiques — officially make me an antiques dealer of early American furniture and decor. (Actually, what we call decor today is what early settlers meant for practical use.)

Tin tray, tin cookie cutters, coffee grinder,
tin and pewter measuring and serving ware —
All were staples of the 18th & 19th centuries. 

 I have bought and will continue to collect items from the 1800s and 1700s.  I have lots of decor and pieces of furniture (although while I have claimed and purchased the furniture, not all is in my current possession — it's a long way to New England from here!).

Pantry boxes, both painted and of natural wood, stored just about
anything and everything. And who could have
imagined a pestle and mortar as decor?

I do not and will not have a shop, but instead will travel to shows and sell through my web site. Dorsey is currently in the process of creating that. My first big show will be at the end of March/first of April in Round Top. Yeah ... the big one. How exciting is that!? For me, it's huge.

I first had experience with Round Top through my mother-in-law, Mary. Dorsey's parents were antiques dealers of the same period and style of antiques that I am doing. When I went with Mary the first time in 1999 or 2000, I thought that was the most exciting thing I had ever experienced, and I wanted to do it. I fell in love with the style and knew I someday wanted a house full of 18th and 19th century furniture. Thanks to Mary, Dorsey and I have always had a few pieces.

Salt boxes were hung on the wall and stored — salt!

And while I loved the idea of making a career in antiques, I never believed it would be possible for me. I was wrong, because it became possible, and it is possible, and it is happening.

This is a spice cabinet, also hung on the wall; each drawer held its own spice.
This apothecary has seen a lot of time, use and heat.

More pantry boxes, a checker board, candle box and yet another wooden bowl. 

Shaker boxes demonstrate the amazing carpentry skills of the Shakers.

I've always loved our dining room "farm" table and Windsor chairs.
These aren't for sale ... at least not any time soon. Unless you want to offer me double their worth —
THEN I might sell them. ;-)

There you have it. I can't wait for the web site to be ready and able to display my inventory. This is going to be a fun, hard and rewarding ride. I am so, so grateful for this opportunity — and I've always wanted to spend extended periods of time in New England —another dream coming true.

I've said it before, but I'll say this again ... it's amazing to me how in the middle of something devastating and sad, God can and does create blessings. In my case, he resurrected a desire that has sat dormant in the recesses of my heart for many years.