Next up: Trip of a lifetime

Early Sunday morning, I begin my big journey east ... because I "have to" pick up some antiques I bought in Massachusetts way back in December.

But Dorsey can't go with me because he started a new job not that long ago — although he could go if he wanted, but it just wouldn't be right, you know? 

From the start, I've had absolutely no qualms about traveling that far by myself ... in my truck and pulling my trailer. I think that maybe, besides getting to have amazing antiques in my house and always searching for even better ones, the best part of being an antiques dealer is traveling to all the places I only dreamed about as a child. Maine is one of them. 

Ever since I saw the movie "On Golden Pond," (1981 ... I was 13), I've wanted to go to Maine. In my mind at the time, I never imagined in a million years I would get to go to Maine. Maine was like a whole different country ... even though it's super close to a whole different country. (Yes, I know "On Golden Pond" was not actually set in Maine. But, to me at the time, Maine and New England were synonymous. I think "On Golden Pond" was actually set in New Hampshire?" Someone Google it for me. I'm too lazy.)

Seeing Maine was so important to me that my first fiance (back when I was only 22) planned our honeymoon to Maine. That's how he proposed to me, in fact ... with a Maine travel guide. 

That marriage and that trip never happened.

But 25 years later, Maine is.

First, however, I get to hang out with my 21-year-old baseball playing, baseball loving son. 

So Sunday morning, Jordie and I set out toward Chicago, where we will watch the Cubs play the Brewers at Wrigley field. And while we're there, we will "do" Chicago as much as a day-and-a-half will allow.

Then we will head toward Baltimore by way of Pittsburg first, so that we can see the Orioles play the Astros a few days later. 

(Did I mention that one of the best days of my life — EVER — Hands down — Was when Jordie and I saw the Mets play in NYC while Dorsey worked in nearby Connecticut? Yes. As the song played on the train there that day, "This is gonna be the best day of my lii-ii-ife," it truly was an amazing day.)

After that, Jordie and I head to Boston and spend what little time we have left (a little more than a day)  to experience whatever we can. (Yes, we will be pulling a trailer, and that scares the ever-livin' daylights out of me. But I have confidence ...) 

And, yes, sadly, we're kind of blowing through NYC since we've already gotten to do that, but not Boston. It's just a reality of time and money.

On the 21st, Jordie has to fly back home so he can get back to school. 

BUT ... graciously, my sister flies into Boston about the same time Jordie flies out so that I don't have to finish the last leg of the trip alone. (What? Do people think I can't handle it? Pee Shawwww! I've been pushed out of my comfort zone so many times in the past couple of years, I'm pretty sure I can do anything as long as God (and AudioBooks) is (are) driving ... )

So when Kim gets to Boston, we chill in Boston then head for West Townsend, Massachusetts, so that I can retrieve my goods. We will take it all in there ... and then the fun really begins!

Maine, Maine, Maine. Antiques. Antiques. Antiques. I have it all mapped out.

And when I'm finished doing my thing in Maine, we do Kim's thing at Martha's Vineyard ... not that I'm opposed or anything ... before we head back to the great state of Texas. 

It will take us roughly two-and-a-half days from Massachusetts to Flower Mound, where Kim gets home and I take a nap for the night before heading back to Amarillo.

Two weeks. Two whole weeks to explore much of the eastern part of the United States I've never had the opportunity to see. 

Yes, it's a big deal for a poor kid from Amarillo. I do mean poor. Ask my parents. They'll vouch for me. 

I do believe God gives us the (pure) desires of our hearts ... no matter how many years down the road it takes.

So far, God is batting 1000 in my heart's desires. Maine (and all the rest of the New England states and southeastern states that I someday get to explore further) is one of many. 

(So let me just add another thoughtful addition to this already lengthy explanation of my life's planned-yet-unplanned journeys: Just in case without my knowledge it's my time to go and I don't get to see the rest ... that's OK, I still get to see all the rest!)

In the meantime,  I plan to come back with plenty of photos and stories about this trip. 

Thank you thank you thank you, God. You have every idea how much this means to me. :-)

Can't believe it's happening ... have you ever really stopped and thought about the course of your life ... CRAZY and unexpected, for sure.

... but I'm going to miss Dorsey and my zoo so much! 

The birth of a redneck designer: Red brick floors can make a girl crazy (er)

I've been busy. I mean, really busy. I've been busy making myself crazier and crazier.

I've been painting cabinets and kitchens and furniture. I've been redecorating. In truth and fact, I'm not even a Martha Stewart type, and I've never aspired to be.

None of this was ever supposed to happen!

All I wanted was a new brick kitchen floor. That's it! I've wanted that for 14 years! But the floor turned into counter tops, which turned into backsplash that didn't work with the current cabinets like I imagined — so I antiqued those — and that turned into kitchen walls that didn't work ... so I repainted those, even though we had just repainted them two years earlier!

Everything has ridiculously snow-balled on me.

This pic isn't even close to the beginning, but what the heck? I'll start here. A few photos down, you will see the headboard Dorsey built (because he loves me) and that I painted. (Did I mention I found this headboard design at 3 a.m. one night when I couldn't sleep because I was stressed out by all of this unfinished business?) The headboard is not attached yet because Dorsey is a busy guy (and the fact that it's not attached is gnawing at me)! This is the guest room decoration I've settled on ... for now. :-) It's not quite country and it's not quite Victorian. It's just new old. And I still need to paint the window's original shutters white and which are currently green, which will end the current reign of the lacy curtains.

The top of the bookshelf, and the bookshelf. I've had this thing for 20 years, just plain pine. It's been in every room in the house, plus an apartment, a house and two apartments before that. Now it's part of my extended closet (behind my real closet and Dorsey's real closet in a space that's been everything from an office to a closet to a place for my mom when she was sick to a mom cave and back to a closet/office/mom cave of sorts.)

I bought the little server on the left for cheap ... because it would fit my current need for my current extended closet space. (It's filled with shoes, and other miscellaneous matter.) I don't like shabby chic, so I redid the piece in this green ... which will match the eventually newly painted sage green accent walls in my extended closet and bathroom. 

When I bricked the bathroom (because we had extra from the kitchen) floor, the coastal decor I settled on last year no longer seemed right, so I decided to make it look like the rest of the house is shaping up to be ... early American. Except ... all my other early American stuff does not allow for bright white, and I did NOT want to repaint the bathroom walls. We had just done it! So, I ordered a new shower curtain and some artwork, but it was all wrong. So I ordered a new shower curtain to match the darker hues of the new artwork. And then I realized if I put it up with the art work I had bought, I would have to repaint the walls because the stark white would clash. So ... to avoid that, I sent the second new shower curtain back and made my own checkerboards to keep the first new shower curtain. Now, I can maintain the bright white.  Except ... 

To keep the whole early American theme going, I have to change out the bathroom hardware ... which I have bought and am waiting installation by my very busy husband, which, like the headboard, gnaws at me. Next on the bathroom list is a new mirror and sconces. More country. For now, I've just darkened them. And my stomach is churning.

Dorsey built this headboard for the guest bedroom.

It took 7 steps to distress it with the blue underneath. My body is paying today for all the squatting and Twister-like positions such work required. 

I bought the cheap dresser pictured on the left for cheap. Again, I don't like shabby chic, personally, so, I painted, distressed and changed out the hardware of this chest of drawers for my extended closet space. The drawers are full of closet-like junk. Same with that book shelf, pictured above.

And in my extended closet is a special little space below the window, but it's also an awkward kind of area. In a continuing effort to maximize the space we have in the house (without knocking down any walls), plus find a place for all of the necessary junk I need on hand (bills to pay, business stuff to deal with before it all goes upstairs to the main office), I decided a desk would be best ... plus it allows the beer and Diet Coke fridge a space. I got the black desk for cheap and distressed it.  So why is everything black? Because, when Dorsey and I redid our bedroom and bathroom a few years ago, we painted the shutters and moulding and cabinets black. I'm not repainting all that! Not! Instead ... I'm going to later tackle distressing all that black ... to look like the three pieces of furniture I just added to the extended closet, and to go with the whole "my house is really old" theme. Do you see how this has all made me crazy!?

In the middle of everything, I decided — because it was so much fun the first time — I wanted to make more checkerboards ... and sell them. (Have you seen all the different "buy, sell, trade" groups on Facebook?)

All the of the above have been practice pieces (all the way to the very top of this blog) ... some of which I'm trying to sell ... on those FB groups, of course. And what am I practicing for? Why, the giant TV cabinet I have ordered from the Amish, of course. To go with the rest of the look of the house I'm trying to create. Of course. You see, I hate the look of the TV and all of the TV paraphernalia and junk. I want it covered up. I want it behind closed doors. So I sent the guy a picture of a cabinet we already have from the 1800s. It's been 12 weeks and gets here Friday. I'm painting it as best I can possibly do to make it look like a real antique. I doubt that will happen, but after all this, who can fault my effort? (Because in addition to all the pieces of furniture I've painted (and cabinets), I've painted/distressed and waxed little wooden blocks.)

Here's another crazy-making piece. Once upon a time, I painted this little TV stand red. For Jordie and me, when we lived in this little apartment I thought was so cute. (It was.) Jordie and Hart had that TV stand forever. In red. But when Mom and Dad died, and I wanted to redo that really dark and dingy room the boys each once had, I just had to create a room I thought Mom would like. I used one of her quilts. And I painted that TV stand to match it and the rest of the room. But then ... Jordie was going to visit way more often than I originally understood when I transformed the room from his high school stomping grounds to a guest room. The room, as I made it, was really feminine. I felt bad that Jordie would be in such a feminine room. So I got a different quilt (the room is staying bright, dangit!). And the newly painted TV stand no longer worked. So ... I redid it. Again. And you know what? I was never happy with any of the rugs I got for that room after I redid it. So I kept getting rid of them. (Those FB sales groups.) I landed on the one pictured at the top, and I LOVE that one. But ... the bed didn't have a headboard. You already saw that story. And while the room still might be slightly feminine, I think once I get those dang shutters painted and back in place, all will be right with my world. For now.

Last, and certainly not least ... here is the cheap little desk I bought for cheap to first start practicing for the great big important cabinet that's finally getting here on Friday. I painted this once gray desk with ugly hardware to go with my early American look and stick in the laundry room to replace the ugly, white utility table. After all the HGTV I had watched, I suddenly became unhappy (er) with my silly little laundry room with the nasty carpet and litter boxes. So ... while we were having the new brick floor installed there, too, I worked on that desk to replace the utility table.  It now holds light bulbs and paint brushes and sand paper. EVERYTHING IN THIS HOUSE NOW HAS A PLACE! 

But I'm not finished! The oh-so-important TV cabinet gets here Friday, and I leave Sunday for a two-week trip. When I get back, I will paint that ... and I will repaint the master bathroom, bedroom, and extended closet.

Because I'm crazy.

And just in case you think otherwise, none of this escapes me as being entirely first world privileged problems. 

No, I'm not really ashamed. I'm blessed. And it's an awesome escape from the insanity of our country's politics. 

Puppy Land

It just doesn't get much better

Dorsey and I were out on our usual morning walk with Indy this morning, and we came to the conclusion that after much heartache, and then after much questioning about whether we had done the right thing in bringing new puppies into Indy's life, everything is all good again.

Indy is back to his old, playful self. At the ripe old age of 8, Indy never had grown out of puppyhood. But when Koda died, his spirit seemed to, also. We've done everything we could think of to revive him. All the love and attention and special treats and walks and grooming and whatever Indy's little heart desired didn't give us back Indy's happy disposition.

As you know, we brought Emma and Max into the pack. For a while now, we haven't been so sure this was the right move for Indy. He's been nothing short of a grumpy old man.

But we labored on ... until we finally realized that not only was Indy playing with the pups, he was instigating play sessions. (I have video to prove it.) 

For a good week now, we have noticed a lightness to his step on the walks, a smile and brightness in his eyes and true enjoyment and desire to be with the puppies. 

That could not make us happier. Now we have three amazing puppies. Life is crazy and hectic in our house, but it certainly is fun and lively! 

I hope Indy will be around many more years with us now. :-)

Never a dull moment, part one

Emma Rose

This little beauty came to live with us last Friday. She's now 10 weeks old, and we chose to name her Emma Rose because she's so pretty. And, yes, she's as sweet as her face looks.

Seal Pup

Two toys for Emma

When we first decided to get a puppy, I thought we should get a male and female from the same litter. I wanted to have two puppies because I never, if we can avoid it, want another doggy to go through the horrible grief that Indy has suffered since we lost Koda. (And just as Indy grieved, Koda grieved when Buffett died. That, too, was awful.)

For eight years, Indy had Koda. She was his girl, and that was clear. They had 10 gorgeous puppies together. When Koda died, he changed. The puppy in him left, for the most part. He stopped eating. He moped.

We showered him with love and attention and have continued to take him on two walks a day. He loves his walks, and he seems to enjoy the extra attention he gets from us.

But he's not the same. (I get it, Indy, I do.)

Several people told us that sometimes, getting another dog breathes new life into the dog left behind. We decided to try it, but like I said ... I wanted two to avoid the terrible awful.

I thought I had found my brother and sister puppies, but it turns out those people were scammers. (No puppies; they just wanted deposit money. Jerks. I turned them in to Craig's List.)

Everywhere else I looked, there was only a male, or a female, or two males. We thought getting two males from a Waco litter would be OK, but Dorsey wasn't so sure. He wanted to meet the doggies first, but he was going out of town. And I knew deep down, he wanted another little girl dog.

So, I took a chance and went back to the people who had the one female left (kinda pricey, so I passed her up at first).

I sent Dorsey her picture ... he was upstairs and I was downstairs.

All of a sudden I hear him shout, "OH! She's so BEAUTIFUL!"

So, I said, "You want her without meeting her, don't you?"

The answer was yes, and so little Emma became our puppy that day. She came from a litter in Lubbock, and the owners met us in Plainview.

It's been so much fun since then. Indy has been unsure, but he's coming around and seems to enjoy her when she's not nipping at his face. (The cats are horrified, and Allie hasn't figured out that if she doesn't run, the puppy can't chase her.)

He's already teaching her bad habits. Koda never ran through sprinklers or stuck her face at the base of one while it was on. Emma is following in Indy's paw prints. 

See? He's coming around.

Still ... having only Emma doesn't take care of my concern of future unbearable grief for the doggy left behind.

So puppy No. 2 — a male from Oklahoma — is joining us July 1. He will be eight weeks. We figure that someday in the future ... way future ... we will breed them.

Our job for now is to make sure Indy stays No. 1 Dog and Pack Leader. We will continue to give him "Indy Only" time with us. And maybe the puppies will play with each other, rather than nip at and annoy Indy?

We shall see as the adventure continues ...

While we can never replace Koda and don't want to, we know life can be great moving forward ... for both Indy and us. As long as things work out, the plan for us after experiencing Indy's terrible grief is to have three dogs at a time. It might be extra work, but I think it will be worth it.

To be continued ...

She's so amazingly cute!

My new normal

I wasn't having fun at that moment. In fact, I texted Dorsey: "I'm DONE!"

So much has happened in the almost-month since I last posted. The most significant thing, I suppose, was surviving my second antique show ... this one in Richmond, IN.  This is how it happened, and this is what I learned:

First leg of the trip. Lovely, right?

Loading up. Tornado hit 6 miles from us.

New brick floor while I was gone. Could not be happier.

Greatest find so far. c.1810 New England corner cupboard, original paint

• Just me and Mary: We did it!
• Just me pulling our 11X14 trailer for 15 hours each way: I can do it. Keep packing that cooler with healthy food. 
• Listening to two David Baldacci books along the way: Love Baldacci and appreciate books on CD soooooooo much! (Do audio books count as reading?)
• Experiencing part of the country I've never seen before: This may be the best part of this business venture. Travel travel travel!
• Denting a wheel cover on the trailer the very first day of the trip: Make wide turns, especially at the gas station. 
• Unloading 90 percent of the trailer for the show all by myself: I can do it.
• Loading and unloading in the rain and tornado warnings: That sucked. But even then it was funny. Don't wear flip flops.
• Learning more about the antique business from my mother-in-law and others: Love learning. Must stay positive at all times. 
• Buying the most gorgeous corner cupboard I've ever seen: Probably won't be able to sell this antique. Dorsey and I love it!
• Unloading 90 percent of the trailer back into the house and shop upon returning home: I rock.
• Redecorating my entire house once I returned: Whew! I kinda like doing that.
• 
  

  

  Redecorating can be great fun!

• Getting a brand new kitchen floor ... which I love and adore and love love love: Why didn't I do that sooner? :-) ALWAYS do renovations when you don't have to be there in the mess ... if you suffer from OCD!
• Shows will be much better and less stressful when Dorsey can go, too: I'm strong, but, damn, it's hard work and I'm not getting any younger! And Mary is 88 years old and should NOT be doing this stuff. (She can PACK a trailer!)

I think I'm finding my life's new "normal." :-)

One down, many more to go!

Our next show!!

So here's the thing: I like to post on my personal site because, well, I like the blog format and I can handle it. Updates to the other site are coming soon ... as well as updated merchandise.

Our trip to Round Top and participation in the Original Round Top Antiques Fair was invaluable. While we had sales success (and some extremely long days, as well), perhaps the best part at this time in our development was the contacts we made. Lots of great people with great connections to other shows and other people.

As a result, we already have lined up a few additional shows, starting with the one advertised in the photo above. 

• Heartland Antiques Show, Saturday June 4 in Richmond, IN.
• The Original Round Top Antiques Fair, Sept. 26-Oct. 1 in Round Top, TX
• Boerne Fall Antiques Show, Nov. 19&20, Boerne, TX
• Fiddlers Antique Show, Feb. 15-18, 2017, Nashville, TN

I can already tell this will be quite a journey. I am exhausted and still recovering from Round Top. Doing these things is a challenge with chronic pain and no time to rest. Somehow, I'll figure out a way to manage. At least I've waited until after the show to crash!! And, not every show is a full six days. Most are one to three days. Fiddlers is four. Regardless, I'm excited. 

I can't believe this is my life now.

.

.

.

P.S. My dad's truck is perfect for this. It pulls a trailer beautifully.

Baptism by fire

Stuff EVERYWHERE! The cats are totally bent out of shape.

Here we go, folks! Dorsey recently posted on the Wilmarth's Tin Cats web site that everything is about to get real ... his perspective.

Of course I get my two-cents worth.

I've been told by fellow dealers I'm getting to know that I'm nuts for debuting our business at a show like Round Top. It is, after all, HUUUUGE! And a big deal. And respected.

And lasts for six days instead of the usual two to three!

Here it all goes, then. Call me brave, call me stupid. It's happening.

I'm totally stoked about this late 1700s hutch table from New Hampshire. If it doesn't sell in Round Top, well, darn, I guess I just get to live with it for a while. :-)

I have spent the last several months plotting and planning my merchandise. I have had all of my "smalls," as we call them in the business, and quite a few furniture items, but my main pieces, the ones I've been extremely excited about, finally arrived after a touch-and-go, nerve-wracking few weeks of truck driver serious illness, bad Louisiana flooding and broken trailer parts. Still ... it's all good now. Besides, what would life be without drama ... always some drama.

I love the grain-painted mustard dry sink (top left). The top right shows a celery painted hanging cupboard.
The green-painted basket and tall wall cupboard came from my new friend in Sedona.

Arizona finds. They all came from New England, of course, but I found them in AZ.

And I found a few bonus items on an unexpected trip just the previous week when I traveled to Arizona to see Jordie pitch in a Tucson baseball tournament. Who would have thought? After all, my stuff is early American, mostly country antiques. Arizona wasn't even founded until 1912 ...

During the first week of March, I set out to get everything on my checklist for my booth and the trip ... much of what was learned after we visited the Round Top Winter Show in January, and from my mother-in-law's vast experience.  My new dealer friends have given their input, too.  Wall paper, tool kit, lights, packing stuff, hooks, nails, screws, signs, bags, various tapes, tax registration info, receipt book, pens, money, tape measure, step ladder, rug ... and all kinds of things I would never think of on my own.

This past week has found me battling a migraine (thank you, West Texas wind) while enduring my torn up house and packing for the show. (Not to mention Dorsey was gone a day or two for job interviews ... still working on that.)

Two kitties think they should go, too.
Socks is guarding all the tools and other important things.

Oh, and then there's the whole planning-what-am-I-going-to-wear-for-six-days-straight? To me, that's the worst part.  I hate packing. Really, really, really hate it. What if I forget something important, like the hanging clothes that aren't packed in my suitcase? Which black sandals do I take? The strappy ones or the wedges? Or both? Both pairs of boots or one? Will this top look OK with that skirt? What about these jeans? Boot-cut or narrow? How about a couple of each? Ugh!

Dorsey picks up the U-Haul trailer in the morning, and we load, with the help of a friend. That's when we run through the checklist one more time and then hit the road. I'm glad to have Dorsey with me this time. That trip to Arizona (and back pulling a trailer) by myself was quite a drive and an adventure!

We'll spend the night with Kim and Vince tomorrow night in Flower Mound and then head on to Round Top Saturday for set up. The show starts Monday. (I still think it's strange this is all happening Easter weekend ...)

And meanwhile, our friend Carmen will be holding down our fort and taking care of our crazy herd.

What a strange new world this is!

My new favorite room in the house

Panorama of the newly decorated room. Notice Blaze photobombing with a bath.

The newly decorated room in our house holds significance for me. It has had many roles since we moved into our house about 14 years ago. Jordie and Hart shared it when they were little. Then Hart took it over when he reached middle school. Then Jordie took it when Hart went to college. And for a couple of months last year, Dorsey and I occupied it while Mom and Dad lived in our normal quarters.

It has remained Jordie's room all this time, but he has reached a stage (sadly) in his life in which baseball keeps him away. He doesn't and won't come home every weekend anymore. <sniff>

Since Hart had the room, it has not been repainted. Need I say how badly it needed it? I decided to overhaul it completely. I was tired of the "dark" decor before. I needed light and bright. I needed clean-looking. I wanted it to have the same blue and white color scheme (although not seascape) of the bathroom Dorsey and I had redone just the previous year.

I think I managed, so I'll show you in pictures. (I apologize for the arrangement. Blogger sucks at this!) This room is all about family and family history, inspired by Mom and Dad. :-)

This comforter and pillows had at one time been on my parents' bed.
The bedside table is part of the once-navy blue furniture that belonged to my dad's dad. Mom had painted it from its original blonde to navy. I repainted and put new hardware on it. I love the water lilies painting above the bed. 

I painted this once-unpainted TV stand red
many years ago. Here, I have repainted it.

I saw this cabinet a few weeks ago in a consignment
store. Had to have it for this room. 

This cabinet holds favorite children's books.
The bottom cabinet holds more books and photo boxes.

My Great Grandmother Cummins painted this lamp. It's Kim's. I'm just holding it for her.

This dressing table is now a mismatched distressed blue with Chippendale hardware. (I know, the styles don't go together.) Underneath the glass I have made a collage of old family photos, as far back as 1900. The bulk of the photos are currently in separated boxes that someday I intend to organize in photo albums. That's what Mom always wanted to do. Those photos are stored in this room, as well.  I didn't use the original mirror with this table. Didn't like it! The new one is from Kirkland's ... another mismatched, distressed blue.

The dresser, with another painted lamp, and a older family photo. 

Colored pencil drawing of a young Hart. (Sun shadow, sorry.)

Colored pencil drawing of a young Jordie.

The hope chest belonged to my dad's side of the family. It's art deco, not really my style, but it's family. The quilts also all are early 1900s from the Childress side of the family. Those cats on the top are actually a hooked rug I bought.

The oriental rugs for the room haven't arrived yet, and I'm sure I'll continue to change and refine as I go along. I need photos from Dorsey's side of the family to complete the family theme of this room. (Hint hint, Mary.)

Anyway, I've had a lot of fun and experienced many memories doing this room. I worried when doing it that it wasn't going to be the 18th Century style of our antiques business. I worried that the Chippendale hardware I was putting on the old but non-Chippendale furniture was stupid. But as I went along and enjoyed what I was doing with the things I have, I stopped worrying. I remembered a friend saying that she had heard from someone else in the decorator world that anything in your home that brings you joy should be in your home, regardless of matching or mismatching styles.

This now my favorite room in the house. It brings me joy.

Change change change change change ...

Yep, here I am sitting in the middle of the utility room floor, painting.
I'm trying to accommodate for our cats. That old carpet had to go!
I need something I can easily clean!!

Mom and Dad's house is scheduled to close this week or next. We had offers on it within a day of it going on the market. I really didn't expect that, but I suppose that's good if it's time. Obviously, it is. The house is going to what appears to be a nice young family who will bring life to this house my parents loved. (Thank you, God. And you know the funny thing? The husband of the family owns a lawn business. My parents adored and doted on — built — that backyard. I just know this family will make it even better. And Mom and Dad would be so happy.)

Selling our parents' house is the last big thing for Kim and me to do with their "things." As we have checked off each of these tasks, I have surprisingly found myself in deeper depression than in relief. There's finality in all of this. There's the absolute, "They aren't coming back!" in all of this. (I certainly understand why some people put these estate things on the back burner for years. Kim and I are just extremely task-oriented, and well ... property taxes aren't fun to pay, especially when they're for no good cause.)

New cabinet for the newly-redecorated Jordie room — which was once Hart's room.

I continue think to myself, "It wasn't suppose to be like this."

Because it wasn't. Not in my child-like mind. Sure, most people assume they will outlive their parents (and that's how it should be, for the sake of our parents), but when it happens, it's a huuuuuuuge shock. I mean, Mom and Dad should always be there, right?

So, here I am, in the remaining days of wrapping up Mom and Dad's estate, and taking care of my own.

The former Jordie/Hart bedroom is in the process of becoming a guest room.
I have repainted furniture (from my grandparents' that my mom repainted for Hart's room).
When it's all said and done, I'll share some pics.

Although I always knew this, the notion that I don't have control over much in my life finally began to sink in about three years ago.  This became more and more clear as my parents became ill and then passed. Life last year became a matter of "do what you gotta do today," and that was absolutely it.

Here we go again.

You know if you've followed my life/blog recently that Dorsey was laid off from his job a little more than a month ago. This is scary stuff. Yeah, I know God has the solution all worked out and it's all good. That doesn't mean I always appreciate God's timing. I'm like, "C'mon, God. I know you've got this, but can we have this joblessness thing end sooner rather than later? Thanks!"

The truth is, we don't know where Dorsey will end up, job-wise. Yes, I'm finally willing to move from Amarillo. But I don't want to. It's not necessarily Amarillo itself. I mean, Amarillo is what it is. It's my home, good and bad. So you know what that means ... But it's home.

And I love my house ... my home for the last 14 years. I'm finally getting it into the shape I want it to be in ... the shape that matches the things we have, plus our style. I'm finally furnishing and making this house exactly how I've imagined for a very long time. (OK, yeah, I have even bigger picture ideas, but let's start small.)

And now, we might (likely) have to move, just to follow a job that will insure our livelihoods for at least a little while longer.

Such irony.

All this stuff I'm doing now — the ONLY things I have control over each day — is either for us or for whomever buys this house in the event we are forced to move from Amarillo.

Oh, the metaphors for life and homes and houses and all that ...