You always need your mom and dad

I've been away from writing for a bit; partly because I don't have much to say, and partly because what I do have to say sounds so blah, blah, blah.

I'm just really disappointed in some of the happenings in this country — the original insanities and evils, and then people's ridiculous knee-jerk reactions in fear.  Are we all just a bunch of stupid people?

Maybe everyone needs to take a step back and settle down.

I've also been depressed. I've let it somewhat overwhelm me lately.

This is "Madeline," by Ray McCarty. I fell in love
with this painting while in Santa Fe.

I got a bit of a break from it when Dorsey and I spent a few days in Santa Fe last week. I got to get lost in beautiful art (that is something that feeds my soul), thoughts about where the heck people get $4,000 to spend on a very UNspecial sweater, and great food. And the massage. Can't forget Ten Thousand Waves.

And, of course, Dorsey and I had lots of inside jokes. That's always the best part.

In spite of my break, my parents were everywhere. It was good because I want them with me, but it's also sad to me because they aren't there. And I desperately, desperately want a glimpse into what they are getting to do in heaven. I can imagine and guess ... but I want to see my Mom whole and happy and at peace — it's been SO SO horribly long. And my dad ... I knew he was preparing himself for his journey ... but still, I'd love to see him, too. I think it would be really cool to see all of the golfing dads playing together.

I wonder whether my mom is following my dad from hole to hole, reading her books under a tree while he plays?

I still have the horrible images of the way things were for my mom in the last several months. They are hard to shake and break my heart.

I have definitely learned that no matter how old a person gets, she never loses the need for her parents.

I've also figured out in the last couple of months that I can't have as much to do with my parents "things" in their house as I'd originally thought. Yes, I'm glad I got a little educated on the value (or not) of some of my mom's collectibles ... but that's all I'm going to do. I can help with pricing on some of it when the time comes, but really, Kim and I just need to go through and save out what will be preserved, keep the things we each will have for ourselves and leave the rest — cleanup and sales — to our estate people. It's just been too daunting and depressing.

Instead, I've been getting rid of more and more clutter in my own house. I'm done with too much stuff. Done. I packed up eight boxes of clothes and fashion jewelry in the last couple of days.

And then we pray that their houses in Amarillo and Childress will sell before too terribly long. I know ... it's all a process. My parents had had big plans for updating the Childress house ... but time got in the way, and it never happened. They got as far as updating the outside of the house, but the inside remains the way it was when Dad was growing up. I'm afraid it will be awhile before that house will sell. It had been on the market for a year while Mom and Dad were alive.

Last but not least, now that Dorsey has built the new fence in the backyard, and I have ordered "cat houses," which should arrive this week, I will be bringing my parents' outdoor kitties Socks and Blaze (along with their personal Igloos) to live with us, too.

What's two more? I just hope it's not too much drama for them all. I definitely have my fears about it. I hope they will all adjust.

I need a GoFundMe page just for animal care ...