Until later

I have felt somewhat guilty for letting my blog just ... sit. I have nothing to say.

So I'll say this: 

I have been in a terrible state of grief since my parents died. It's true that after the dust settles and people get back to their lives, those of us closest to the death(s) must find a way to carry on alone. And I have discovered that as time has progressed, my grief has grown more powerful. My sister would tell you the same. Sadly, we have had little time to spend with each other now that she has returned to her life in Flower Mound. Summer travels have interfered, but hopefully, things will change when school starts.

The reality for both of us, though, is that my parents are not coming back. Not ever. That's an unbearable pill to swallow.  So that's an important thing about aging to know: Your parents will always be your parents, and you will always need them, no matter how old you get.

While I originally intended my blog to be about aging issues ... and caregiving for aging parents fits into that category ... the popularity of my blog (from January through May) came about because of my parents and the love their friends had for them.

Nothing can replace them, and I have no desire to write about anything else. What I have at the moment is my grief, the process of grieving and of settling an estate (with Kim). Dealing with their home is almost too much sometimes. 

And I have been somewhat frozen in a state of "now what" since my parents died. I seem to have no focus or purpose at this time. Just flights of ideas that pass as quickly as they excite me. 

So instead of writing to you about my pain — because I know so many of you have been there and relate, and I'm so grateful to you for sharing your experiences with me — I think it's time to pay my therapist to to hear me whine and cry. 

Until I get through this, I really don't have much to say. 

I guess I'll be back when the inspiration strikes. 

Thanks for your friendship.