Part One.
I mentioned somewhere in my earliest posts about always dreading growing older because I didn't want wrinkles and sags, or the aches and pains that come with aging.I still don't want those things. I've heard it a thousand times and have even begun saying it myself, but "growing old ain't for sissies."
In fact, I'm going to fight aging with everything I've got and every spare dollar I might have — except I don't have any spare dollars, so the botox is safe from me.
I really never pictured growing old as being anything more than looking different (i.e., less attractive) and having fewer abilities to do enjoyable things. I didn't give aging much thought until I hit 40, because I didn't want to think about it. Frankly, it scared me.
Then Mom had her stroke. If I thought I was scared before, now I'm truly frightened for reasons beyond vanity. As a result, I've been spending the past six months of my life not only dealing with my parents' illnesses, but also coming to terms with the inevitable fact that unless I die, I'm going to get old. (Profound, huh?) I might not get to be one of those cute little old ladies who travels the world holding hands with the love of her life. I might not be one of those feisty women still kicking up her heels at 80.
Instead, I might suffer the reality of what millions of older people have to endure — and what I've witnessed since Mom's stroke: lonely, dejected, sad, fearful, lost, empty and forgotten lives.
All I've been able to think since seeing all of these residents in various facilities is, "Lord, have mercy."
I've said this before, but I'll emphatically say it again — barring those special individuals called to work with and love the elderly — we treat our old people HORRIBLY POORLY (i.e., like poo).
We seem to shove them aside as if they're imbeciles who have nothing left to offer this world or us. If they live in large nursing facilities, they get herded like cattle.
When I first started writing this blog, I blamed the nursing care system for the woes of the old folks. (I still am not a fan; Texas earns F's in care and scores 51st in the U.S.) I said in this blog and to whomever would listen to me that the only way to grow old in our country is to have lots of money so you could live in the comfort of your own home.
However, my mom's in-home caregivers have opened my eyes a bit to even that. Too often, they care for "rich people" in their own homes who have been left alone by their adult children. They may be in their own homes, but their families don't pay attention to them or visit them.
So, really, it's about growing old and being shoved aside in a society that has turned its back on the important people who once made function the very life we currently enjoy. Our greedy for-profit nursing care system simply reflects society's pathetically narcissistic, youth-worshipping attitude.
I could go on and on and on — just like life goes on and on and on. Life moves so quickly, and we "younger" ones live such busy lives that we simply don't have time to worry about or mess with those who can't keep up anymore.
Isn't that the overall attitude?
Now that I've come face to face with this reality, I am obsessed — OK, passionate. I have seen a sick social issue firsthand that needs immediate hospitalization and rehabilitation.
Old Age in America, you have my attention!
Part Two will focus on a meaningful solution within your immediate control.
I remember my father-in-law, born in 1918, lamenting the 'fact' that their Senior Center was offering speakers who would direct folks how to protect their assets before it came time to go to the Home. It was automatically presumed that the children would not care for their parents nor would the parents pay to care for themselves. Protecting the assets so the State has to step in to cover the cost of care. He grew up in a different time when they kept the old folks around until they simply couldn't care for them any longer. Other cultures have multi-generational homes but even now it's shameful to live at home with your parents. And, people are living longer now than years ago, thanks to scientific advances. Thanks for doing us that favor, science!
ReplyDelete