Eulogy for my mother

I made it through the service today and giving her eulogy without losing my composure ... although I nearly did a couple of times.

For those who are interested but couldn't be there this morning, here is what I wrote/said:

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Mom’s Eulogy

I may have bitten off more than I can chew with this task, so I ask that you all lift me up so I can get through this with my composure intact— not just for my mother’s sake, but for mine as well.

You see, a couple of weeks before Mom made her way to her heavenly home, she was sitting in the kitchen with my husband and with Lucinda, one of her wonderful caregivers.

She said to my husband, “I wish I were a bird.”

He asked her why. She responded that she would like to be able to fly over people’s heads and poop on them if they annoyed her.  

I don’t want God to let my mom be a bird just so she can poop on my head. I need to do a good job with this remembrance. And the good Lord knows I annoyed my mother greatly in life!

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I am here to celebrate my mother’s beautiful life with you.

But I want to preface my story with this scripture:

From Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I ask you to remember that truth as I share.

Mom’s stroke in October was horrifying in that not only did it debilitate her physically, it stripped from her something she valued most in life: The ability to communicate, to hold rational, linear conversations and to take care of those she loved most.

But as you can tell with the bird poop story, the stroke also broke through a communication filter — that previous filter that often kept my mother from sharing her deepest self with us.  While the way she previously communicated may have been gone, she gained a newer, purer and sweeter way of sharing her spirit with us.

Not long after Mom had that stroke and during a speech therapy conversation, she said she believed her life’s purpose had been to take care of my dad, as well as Kim and me, and her grandkids.

I believe she fulfilled her purpose, and in doing so, she ultimately glorified God.

I know my mother is here with us today, and while I’ve told her in the last few weeks many of the things I’m about to say, I would like to expand a little and share some of them with you.

·      Above all else, I admired my mother’s deep and fierce strength, love, loyalty and perseverance. 

One of my favorite quotes fits my mother perfectly:

“And though she be but little, she is fierce.”  — From Shakespeare

I also find it interesting that her senior yearbook picture stated this Shakespeare quote about my mother, as well:

“How far that little candle throws its beam.”

My mother — the book lover and lover of literature — should be proud of these descriptions of her. I certainly am.

My mom just never gave up on anything. Her ability and willingness to love the most unlovable in her family members astounds and inspires me.

While my family had many wonderful times, we also had lots of difficult ones. Still, she fiercely loved, encouraged and believed in us.

As a mother, myself, I can now appreciate many of the things she did — and that she did so well — when I was growing up. She succeeded in areas I could not keep up with as an adult and mother: She worked full-time as an educator, and she thrived at it.  She ran our home, paid our bills, cooked our meals, baked from scratch and cleaned our house — although she trained Kim and me early on to take over many duties, as well.

Clearly, she was a smart woman.

She also sewed Halloween costumes and participated in all of our school and extracurricular activities. She is the reason Kim and I were good students.

Perhaps the most interesting fact about my mother’s involvement in our lives is that she wasn’t a sports fan. At all. Yet she attended every sporting event possible that Kim, Dad, Jordie, Cole and I ever participated in! That count comes to hundreds and hundreds of ballgames.

That’s serious love and dedication, in my book.

The only thing I ever really remember my mother doing for herself was when she pursued and achieved her education goals. When Kim and I were both out of the home, she went back to school to get her master of library science. This was a challenge because she had to do it from Lubbock and Denton, all while living in Amarillo. This meant time and travel, all while she was working and my dad was coaching. 

She even planned Kim’s wedding in the middle of it all!

Unfortunately for a bit in my adult life, I distanced myself from the values in which my parents raised me. Even when my mother was highly disappointed, worried and/or disgusted with me, she still was there for me.

And she was there for Jordie when I couldn’t be the parent I needed to be for him.

Mom even baked Christmas goodies several times for my neighborhood’s traditional goodie swap when I was too busy with other things.

I could give many more examples to you, but it would take too long AND annoy my mother. That’s just not worth the bird poop on my head.

Just know that my mother went way above and beyond the call of duty as a parent and grandparent.

She was and still is the definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails.

Even in her weakness, my mother was strong. The end of her life illustrated yet another Biblical truth:

From 2 Corinthians 12:9-11

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Mom only thought she couldn’t take care of us in the last few months of her life. She only thought she couldn’t communicate.

When she reached her heavenly home Wednesday, she immediately knew how very wrong she was.

My mother’s life and her illness provided me with the opportunity to do for her only what she would have done for my sister and me — to love her and take care of her when she was unable to do so for herself.

Her last life lesson — in her weakened state — taught me the truest beauty and blessing of selfless giving.  She showed me what’s most important in life, and she glorified God with her life’s purpose.

There is nothing greater than that, and I will never be the same.

I am grateful and blessed my mother was my mom. She IS an inspiration.