This will be the third night for Kim and me to spend the night with our parents at BSA Hospice.
My mother continues to decline as her body shuts down. I know this probably is morbid, but I feel better to know what's happening and what to expect. I have been reading about how the body behaves in its final stages. I truly had no idea dying was such hard work. Movies have it all wrong. My poor mom is exhausted.
From what I understand, in spite of the upsetting sounds she makes and the noisy breathing, she is not in pain. From everything I've read and been told, the senses of touch and hearing go last, so we continue to talk gently to Mom and to touch her so that she knows we are here. We tell her it's OK to let go and encourage her as she moves toward death in this life. We tell her we love her and that she's the best mom ever. We tell her we will miss her, but we will be OK without her; she doesn't need to worry about us.
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Dad had what is called a "pain crisis" in the middle of the night last night. He went from being on respite care here to an acute care patient. They put him on a pain drip, and changed his medications to accommodate the new level of pain and discomfort. As a result of the medication, he slept most of today.
The doctor and nurses said the goal is to adjust his meds so that he is comfortable, yet awake, so we are hoping tomorrow is better for him. He was so out of it today that he could not attend to my mother. You know how it is when you're really sick — it's all you can do to function for yourself.
Dad did have some visitors today. He was thrilled to see Coach Gerlich walk in the room. He managed to stay awake long enough to chat with Krista, Dale and his old golf course buddy, David Bonner. Another friend made a short visit, as well.
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My dad's turn for the worse last night made me wonder whether we would be taking him home again. I am wondering whether my parents are just determined to get to Heaven as close together as possible.
Only time will tell.
As I read this, I was holding my breath, not sure what was coming next. It sounds like Mom is in a good place as regards her pain. I know one thing your mom might enjoy in her own way is hearing hymns either sung or read to her. My friend did that for her mom in this same situation.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry your dad is taking a turn, too. Hopefully the pain will be taken under control so he can still function enough to see his friends and spend time with family before he is escorted to bliss with your mom. You know they look forward to seeing their Savior face to face and walking together for eternity. May God's hand continue to be upon them, and upon you all.
Thank you, Kim. Dad is actually doing much better today. Pain is under control, he had a shower, changed clothes and is more awake. :-)
ReplyDeleteJami, your strength is inspiring. I never dreamed in a thousand years that I would be here with Nicki's and Jim's amazing daughter facing such an unbelievable, yet poetic time. I feel blessed that for some strange reason, I'm included.
DeleteAs I sit here thinking of our past, I remember Jim teaching me how to play golf. None of the other boys would have anything to do with me because I was a girl! Yet Jim gently told me about all of the special terms of golfing and encouraged me to continue. No one else cared. I will forever carry that in my heart.
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